Conflicts can come from anywhere, anytime and from anyone. Why? There is no identical individual, we have different perceptions. We see things differently that could start into conflicts. In many ways it is easy to say things that pop into our mind and easy to gain an enemy as well. I always remember what my brother told me – “there are always better ways to say things”, absolutely right.
We may want to win a conversation or a project, but there are always better ways to deal with things. It’s so easy to win an enemy, but it’s too hard to win a friend. Believe this or not, “no man is an island”. People you choose to be with will speak of your personality. They will help us mold our individuality and value system as well. Of course it’s for us to decide who they could be.
There are these two professors in college that will always give us advises, they don’t get along usually. But they seem to have similar views. They both told us “to choose our friends” that we must choose people to be with, everyone could be but not everyone could be real and helpful. There are pressures for sure, but come to think of this, “It’s easy to be like THEM, but it’s too hard to be like YOU”, says one of them.
Well in resolving conflict, you must stay cool. Conflicts cannot be solved when one is angry or in a foul mood. Though we really are mad, but it is important to stay calm. Always remember, you are better person than freaking out. To help you with this, you should pause for a while before talking about the problem. Think and assess before saying any word.
Then, explain things out. Explain what’s bothering you and why are you in conflict? Ask the other person as well and try to ask him/her to cool down and talk things calmly, in harmonizing manner.
If you are not involve in the conflict and you are just a mediator, let the two parties explain their side, let them talk calmly and explain things professionally. This may sound easy but why not try, it could be effective. Listening fosters empathy and respect, don’t let your anger overcome you. Remember, you are better than that.
Afterward, take responsibility. If you know you did something wrong as well, accept it. Avoid blaming and always remember to take responsibility for your actions or if not involved ask them or remind them to be responsible for their actions. By taking responsibility, other party realizes that resolving your conflict is possible.
Of course, you must brainstorm solutions and come up with one that satisfies everyone concerns. Brainstorming will help you calm down and makes you both realize that there are many solutions to a problem – anger and freaking out is not a solution. Well, make sure that both of you or all parties are committed to the chosen solution. Be honest and open-minded.
Lastly, you must affirm, forgive or thank. Offer handshake or hug, this will show gratitude and willingness to resolve conflict. And, to forgive means you are both free to be friends again. Forgive and forget they say. Problems will never be solved when you don’t accept you’re wrong and when you don’t forgive and forget. There might be some hurt feelings or you hurt someone’s feelings but work things out that will help compromise what you did. Or, you might know that you are right, but still ask for an apology as well. This will help the other party realize what he / she did. Be humble and strong always and you will stay out of trouble.